Who Are You? What Do You Want?: Four Questions That Will Change Your Life

Who Are You? What Do You Want?: Four Questions That Will Change Your Life by Mick Ukleja and Robert L. Lorber 

If you donʹt know where you are going, you might end up someplace else. —Yogi Berra

  • “Avoiding the truth is like using the wrong map: you’ll never reach your destination because you won’t know the reality of where you are or where you’re headed.”
  • “When you can’t accept the truth about yourself or your situation, this fear manifests itself in something commonly known as the impostor syndrome—the fear that you don’t deserve something better. Or that you are unqualified. Despite the opinion of others, despite the truth of the situation , you feel like a fraud— like an impostor. That’s fear speaking . When the impostor syndrome takes over, it can have unfortunate consequences.”
  • 1. Who are you and what do you want?
    • “Answering the questions “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” forces you to get right to the point: What is the point of my life? What is my purpose?”
    • “If you don’t define success in your life, others will define it for you.”
    • “Aim for the Sweet Spot. The place where [strengths, passions and obligations] overlap is the sweet spot. When you are engaged in an activity or a job that uses your talents, ignites your passions, and fulfills your obligations, you’re living in your sweet spot. The more these three circles overlap, the larger your sweet spot grows.
    • Our advice: don’t abandon your dreams, but make sure your dreams are ultimately attainable with the talents and potential you already have.”
  • 2. Where are you and why are you there?
    • “For many individuals, decisions and choices tend to be unconscious. They feel that life happens to them. They don’t see themselves as the architects of their own lives.”
    • ʺYou donʹt drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.ʺ —Edwin Louis Cole
    • “Asking “Where am I and why am I here?” initiates a reflective process. It shows you the red You Are Here dot on the map . Self-help is initiated in self-reflection, which leads you from where you are to where you want to go.”
    • “Often there’s a gap between what people profess to believe and how they behave— it’s called the integrity gap.”
  • 3. What will you do and how will you do it?
    • “Mastering life requires understanding what is happening to you now, and then creating and using a plan for going from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow. This is accomplished by asking the question, “What will I do and how will I do it?””
    • “…some of the things that you must address will be problems, and others will be predicaments. It is important that you know the difference between the two and how to deal with each, because each requires a different course of action. A problem is a negative, unexpected event…. A predicament, on the other hand, is the result of a behavior pattern that keeps getting you into difficulty.”
  • 4. Who are your allies and how can they help?
    • “When you’re drowning in a problem, by all means ask for help!”
    • “Trust can build for years and evaporate in the blink of an eye.”
    • “The quality of your life will be in direct proportion to the types of relationships you choose to build.”
    • “One supporting friendship is worth a thousand acquaintances.”
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